What a well written, compassionate article about male victims of spousal abuse. Bravo!
Real Men Do CryThe hidden pain: domestic abuse targeted toward men
By Yvonne Dick, For The Calgary HeraldNovember 15, 2010
Real men don't hit women, but sometimes women hit them.
Jason Chivers (whose name has been changed to protect his family) is a middle-aged Calgary teacher of average build. At home, his wife would engage in sporadic episodes of violence that Chivers won't talk about even now that he's left the marriage. At the time, despite the violence, he says he didn't want to leave because of his kids.
Research into the area of domestic abuse targeted at men indicates that men fear going to jail on false charges, the loss of their children, and having to pay for both the family house plus an apartment on just their income.
Yet when Chivers and his wife sought help, the counsellor's first advice was to just get a divorce.
"I spent a lot of time in the office, living there . . . for weeks at a time," says Chivers. "Eventually I got the divorce, but not until I had tried everything else first. . . . The whole system is a disaster for men."
Although it's not often talked about, abuse against men happens in households across the city, in numbers and types nearly the same as women: according to StatsCanada, in 2005, seven per cent of women and six per cent of men experienced abuse. The difference is, men don't tell.