RESOURCES

Online Courses DAHMW in the NEWS Forensic Psychologist and Attorneys Support Groups Research Recommended Reading DAHMW Brochures and Literature Blackmailed into Fatherhood:Borderline women, and men who love them.by Shari Schreiber, M.A. Shari Schreiber, M.A. ForumYou may similarly point to my borderline page.

DAHMW.org - OUR SERVICES

SERVICES DAHMW.org Provides direct services and referrals to adult victims of intimate partner violence, our services include the following: Crisis Hotline: 1-888-7HELPLINE 24-hour hotline operated by staff and trained volunteers to offer information and crisis intervention to victims of intimate partner violence. Information: Provide information about the issues concerning intimate partner violence. Referrals to community resources. Resource directory for the country including where to find (if available) "male victim friendly" resources in your area. Assistance in filing protection from abuse orders (where available). Counseling: Referrals to individual and group counseling for victims of intimate partner violence. (Not available in all areas for male victims please speak to our helpline volunteer to find out what's available in your area) Educational Service: DAHMW has a speakers bureau made up of seasoned professionals from all facets of the domestic violence field (law enforcement, attorneys, psychologists, social service providers, researchers) who provide presentations to community groups and organizations interested in learning more about intimate partner violence. Contact DAHMW at 207-683-5758 to set one up. Support Groups: Referrals to support groups for victims of intimate partner violence (support groups for male victims somewhat limited please speak to our helpline volunteer to find out what's available in your area). Emergency Shelter: Emergency shelter and extended temporary haven for men, women and child survivors of intimate partner violence. (Shelter for male victims with or without children is somewhat limited, so please speak to our helpline advocate to find out what's available in your area). Need Help? Are you currently in a violent relationship or a survivor of one? Contact DAHMW AT 1-888-743-5754 (1-888-7HELPLINE) for crisis intervention. We are here to help.

True Stories

TRUE STORIES LEE'S STORY I'm your basic middle class male who was raised to respect women and never hit them. I am a good provider and a hard worker. I have authored 2 best selling books and sold a self-started company. My attitude didn't change when I got married. I regularly helped my wife cook and clean when I came home from a long day of work. That's why I am also one of those in total disbelief this would ever happen to me. JOHN AND CAROL My wife, Carol (not real name), and I would seem to most observers to have the perfect life. Carol is 48, very pretty, and still has the figure of a teen. She has a masters degree in education and teaches third grade at the elementary school in the school system in which she was raised throughout her own childhood. AMY AND GEORGE Here is a shortened version of my story. Yes you may print it. You can email me back if you have any questions or if anyone else does. I would like to be able to give something back to the universe for all the things I took away. Thank you very much for listening to me. BILL AND PATIENCE The story I have to tell is one of great injustice. I will talk about abuse, slander, hatred, and ultimately, issues of life or death. My life with my former wife "Patience" was a nightmare that is hard to relive. What follows is an account of the years I suffered, years that were part of my life. Years that nobody can give back to me. ANONYMOUS SUBMISSION When my wife and I met, we were both going through a divorce. She told me she had left her husband because he was a drunken wife beater. She told me how she had had to wear sunglasses all the time to cover up the black eyes and she'd had to wear turtlenecks to cover the choke marks around her neck. She told her 3 year old son that they were leaving because "daddy is always yelling at mommy" MORE... ANONYMOUS SUBMISSIONANONYMOUS SUBMISSION

Am I in an Abusive Relationship?

QUESTIONS ABOUT AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP Questions that may help a person decide if he/she is in an abusive relationship: Do you often doubt your own judgment or wonder if you are crazy? Are you often afraid of your partner? Do you express your opinion less and less freely? Have you developed fears of other people? Do you tend to see others less often? Do you ask your partner's permission to spend money, take classes, or socialize with friends? Do you spend a lot of time watching for your partner's bad and not-so-bad moods before bringing up a subject? Do these statements fit you? I am frightened of my partner's temper. I am often compliant because I am afraid to hurt my partner's feelings. I am often afraid of my partner's anger. I have the urge to rescue my partner because my partner is troubled. I have been hit, kicked, shoved, punched, bit, spit at or had things thrown at me by my partner when he/she was jealous or angry. I find myself apologizing for his/her behavior when he/she has treated me badly. I make decisions based on what my partner wants or how my partner will react. My partner drinks or uses drugs. Why men won't tell: Many men cope with being abused by taking on a macho "I can handle it" attitude. Even if you have been hurt much worse than an athletic playing field, that is not the same thing as being physically attacked by your intimate partner, which hurts emotionally as well as physically. Allowing this pattern to continue can result in depression, substance abuse, loss of confidence, even suicide. Men typically face a greater degree of disbelief and ridicule than do most women in this situation, which helps enforce the silence. Domestic violence victims make excuses for injuries that show ("It was an accident" or "it happened while playing sports") when friends or medical personnel ask about them. Abusers are expert at making victims feel no one is on their side, which is a self-fulfilling prophecy--the more you withdraw from friends and family to protect your partner, the less other people will be able to help you by confirming your experiences.